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The Veteran And The Horse
He was 18. Drafted for a war he knew nothing of. He was patriotic and wanted to be of service to his country.
He was nervous and a bit excited when he saw the helicopter and his fellow Unit members boarding. He pulled himself up and squeezed into the tight space. The helicopter's loud whirring did not allow for afterthoughts. Up they rose and the journey into the deep Vietnam forests began. The further they flew, the smaller he felt. Thick forest for miles proved no escape. His terror and isolation began. It was him and his crew from here on in, and, as he saw it, they were all unlikely to come out.
He fought alongside his tightly knit crew, just as tight as they were in that helicopter. In the trenches, he watched in horror as bits of his best friend who was next to him, landed all over him. This was just one of the experiences that would never leave him, one of the experiences that he locked away on his flight “home”. Supposedly, his “home” country would be safe, though he knew now that nothing was really “safe” anymore, nowhere was really “home”.
He was already addicted to any type of substance that would dull reality. He soon became homeless and experienced more pain. Finally offered shelter at a Veterans Home, he was also offered treatment. Within the Treatment Program he experienced Equine-Assisted Therapy.
When he walked into the stable arena, one horse by the name of Molly walked right up to him. She gently offered her nose. He immediately reached out to touch her, something he hadn’t done with anyone at all since returning from the war. He hadn’t spoken about his trials, hadn’t shared his pain. As the weeks progressed, he spoke privately to Molly, telling her his story. Each time, her Empathy and Concern were evident in her eyes. She fully understood each thought and each word and offered nothing but Loving Support. This began his journey into speaking his story to the psychologist and the psychiatrist. It led to him receiving proper nutrition and medication. His world became open to transformation, his Healing Journey had begun…
~Janice M. Burke
Image by Janice M. Burke
The People Pleaser
One more week goes by, the agreeable person smiles politely, thinking, well, after having already agreed to it, he has to do it now. How he wished he had said no, how he wished he had been able to think clearly and quickly when asked. He tortured himself with frustration, why do I always do this? Not once does he relate it to his mother’s put downs and snide remarks. How she felt so cold when he was a child, how she had a knack of making him feel incredibly unsafe, afraid for his 6 year old safety, making him completely compliant, in a useless attempt to make her happy. He smiles politely, accustomed to walking on eggshells, he remains compliant in general. Another day, another project he does for whoever asks. He wants to help, he tells himself, but sometimes he wants nothing more than to leave. Another week, in the job with verbally abusive coworkers and a boss who pays him peanuts and demands all of his time, calling him late night about work. The next day he happily accepts the project that requires overtime hours. He is relieved that he will not be fired for failing to answer the 11pm phone call. He doesn’t mind being passed up for a promotion again. He understands, he tells himself, the new guy who got it went to college after all, he didn’t.
One more week, he will finish the projects for everyone. He will champion excuses for their deplorable behavior. Everyone loves the agreeable person, even the agreeable person, he tells himself...
By Janice M. Burke
The Attention Seeker
Expressing herself wildly, arms gesturing as loud, hurried words stream from her mouth. She is storytelling. Her life wide open for anyone who will hear…and loud enough so that everyone does. She is talking over the disinterested, narcissistic family lodged in her head from childhood, stuck, like a thorn, in her soul. Those who talked before she was finished talking, louder than she did, as though her words were boring and something to suffer through. She is loud now, and speaks quickly and aggressively to be sure she can get her point across, though her family is nowhere to be found, some dead, others scattered and non communicative. When someone hears her now and compliments what she has to say, she is suspicious. What could they want? She guesses they want a compliment in return, and refuses to give it. She wouldn’t give someone so manipulative the time of day she tells herself. Though in fact, this is not what they want. They want nothing but to give her a compliment that is true and deeply felt. She puts her walls up, strong and thick. Her family, now disembodied thoughts, memories and patterns, smile sardonically. She tells another story, again so wildly. She drinks more coffee and depressively tells herself that she has once again been rejected and is once again so alone, while the people who care about her sigh with resignation.
By Janice M. Burke